I Reject Your Reality and Replace It With My Own

( The Mummy 3 thoughts which quickly turned into TL;DR... )

I had no idea there was an Unaired Buffy the Vampire Slayer Pilot!! AND OMG, THAT'S NOT WILLOW!!!

I've spent more time than I'm going to admit looking for Buffy/Giles vids. Not Buffy/Giles kissy-kissy-smoochie-smoochie vids, more like father/daughter, I LOVE YOU MORE THAN CUPCAKES AND WOULD TOTALLY DESTROY THE WORLD IF YOU ASKED ME TOO vids. So far I've only found a lot of crap.

It's interesting that my Buffy DVDs are the ones I most often pull out if I want to throw something on the TV while doing other things. Not X-Files, not LoTR or Harry Potter - not even Supernatural. For me it's always been Buffy. It's the relationships on that show and the way they love each other. I just watched Faith, Hope and Trick (from S3) and just...Giles LOVES Buffy. He knows she needs to talk about killing Angel and so he makes up this portal sealing spell to get her to talk to him because he KNOWS HER and KNOWS that she won't just TALK ABOUT IT because she has the angst and he's doing it because he LOVES HER SO GOSH DARN MUCH. When she comes back at the beginning of S3 I was all, WHERE IS MY HUG, BITCHES?!?!!11!! but I love his little moment of relief in the kitchen just as much. EPIC. LOVE. Damn it, now I want to borrow S2 from gonturan again to watch Passions when Giles goes after Angelus for killing Jenny and then Buffy saves him from the fire and punches him because OMG I CAN'T LOSE YOU, YOU DUMB, BRITISH FATHER FIGURE! And then she hugs him, and he hugs her, and then they cry and Andie explodes from the love and angst and drama. *happy sigh*

OMG WHY IS DOCTOR WHO NOT DOWNLOADED YET. *taps foot impatiently* I can't call Theresa until I've seen it. SHE WILL SPOIL MY ASS, I KID YOU NOT.

How on earth I became this emotionally invested in a TELEVISION PROGRAM I have no idea. I was brushing my teeth, trying to get ready for bed, and all I could think about was Thursday and how I'm most likely going to start crying in a room full of people because Dean Winchester is a part of my family and if something happens to him it's going to feel like something happened to someone I love and care about and oh GOD. If Sam makes even one "you're my brother and I love you and I can't live without you because you're my HEART" speech even though he won't say it in those words because that's not how Winchesters talk, but he'll do it in some kind of equally emotional way with eyes glistening and a lump in his throat and I'm going to LOSE IT. This goddamn show makes me FEEL THINGS for people that ARE NOT REAL and it affects me in a way that it shouldn't because I'm a grown-up and grown-ups don't CRY while watching TELEVISION on the FREE TO BE GREEN CHANNEL.

I'm pretty sure the long run-on sentences are part of the panic attack. Mostly sure. *nods*

*remembers to breathe*

I was worried that I was starting to fade from the show, that I didn't love it like I did in the beginning and that the writer's strike somehow changed it and me. I understand why I was worried but I didn't need to be. Love is a living thing and it grows and changes along with the objects of affection. This isn't the same show I watched three years ago and I'm not the same girl. We're growing together and changing and with each new decision we make, we take another step down a road that we feel in our gut is the right road. This show is a ride, it always has been, and I love riding it. We're climbing the last incline before the final drop and I just know I'm going to scream the entire way down.